Lyon part-dieu

Cycling around Lyon at night looking for a bar that was open after closing time was a little hard especially as we were dressed in stylish cycling gear and every bar/club we went up to that had flashy lights and bouncers standing outside, Me using my best french sign language asked if I could go in and get a pint, the bouncer look is universal… I wasn’t getting in that was for sure. Back to the lads who were looking after the bikes, I told them the news and we stood around a bit lost not knowing what to do… we couldn’t blend in at all so stood out like a sore thumb wearing garish cycling jerseys, a few people came up to us and had a chat, most of them saying that it was rubbish in the clubs anyway (we got the impression that they got kicked out ) in fact most of the people outside the clubs were drinking wine…. out of a bag, Classy.

I went over and asked a few lads where we could get a drink and they pointed off in the other direction and shouted after me “Good luck English man”

We found a small bar that was half full and had an empty table outside that we could sit at and not take our eyes away from the bikes and all the gear, we had over eight hours to wait before the train to Geneva so we bought ourselves some beers. I went in and asked the bar keep for three pints of beer and he looked at me strange then came back and said sorry but we only have one pint glass…. bloody french.. so I got the pint and then got two half pints in girly glasses for the lads outside, that didn’t bother Sam and Will at all and we soon finished them off (at the same time in fact even though I had a real pint)

This happened a few times and then we got told to turn the music down because of the bar being in a residential area, but then Jimi Hendrix came on and no one gave a fuck about the people living upstairs. A few locals dropped into the bar and started talking to us about the bikes and the trip and it wasn’t too long before they were buying us drinks and closing time came…. and went.. we went inside the bar for a few drinks “A lock-in in Lyon” the bar man lined up a few saucers and poured this green liquid onto the saucers then put shot glasses out and filled them up with the same stuff, he then pulled out a blow torch and set fire to the shots, he waited until the flames were pretty hight then placed tumblers over the shot glasses and the saucers, the liquid on the plates made a seal and created a vacuum, he passed us straws and lifted the glass so we could drink all the green liquid then he got us to breathe the fumes from the tumblers through the straw… at this point we all coughed and spluttered, it made our heads spin and Sam nearly threw up. We checked the time and realized that we had two hours till our train got in…. we had been drinking for six hours in that place, it was time to leave, so we stumbled out of the bar and tried to get our bikes to work but they didn’t and I think that kinda span Sam out a bit because he then proceeded to spew green stuff (Chartreuse) all over the street, the bar man said it was okay because he wasn’t making any noise so the neighbors wouldn’t complain.

We left the ban and made our way back along the streets towards the train station (Lyon part-dieu) its strange how there is so many people awake at the train station in the early hours of the morning, we were there with all our bikes and gear waiting for the train and bought ourselves coffee’s and croissants sitting down next to the bikes and then the gendarme came over and told us to move, I think because we looked terrible and were showing the place us a bit.

It wasn’t too long before our train started to arrive so we took our bikes up the escalators to the platform and waited for the train,

We were all pretty drunk still and just getting the bike on the escalators was damn hard and all we wanted to do was sleep, what a bloody bright idea that was to stay up for the ten hours until our train got in… and Chartreuse is now another drink that is on my list of drinks not to be allowed to drink again

The train arrived and all of a sudden loads of people turned up to get on when just moments before it was an empty platform, so we had to get on the ball a bit with finding a carriage that took bikes, we lifted the bikes onto the train, Not an easy thing to do as the bikes probably weigh about 60kgs each and they don’t just stay still like a 60kg set of weights, the handle bars spin round and hit you in the head or the back wheel turns and you smash you knuckles off the rear end of the frame… anyway we got them on and considering our state we did a pretty good job. We then unloaded all the baggage

and it was at this point that Sam realized he had lost the bag to his mini rig speaker and the charging cable, he wasn’t too impressed and with his current state got even more unimpressed with everything. As fun as a train ride might be we all passed out with our heads splatted on the table to be woken up by customs with sniffer dogs sniffing at our food bags and getting really excited, thankfully they just left us alone and we didn’t have to go through the whole emptying of our bags (It is hard enough packing them when your sober let alone when hung over on weird green stuff ) we  soon passed out again this time to be woken up by everyone getting off the train (they were all blonde, like it was all the kids from the movie “village of the damned” )

A quick look out of the window and all we could see was hills and then mountains covered in snow, we got all our gear together and jumped off the train.

Geneva –

first things first, we needed the toilet so all went down and tried to find one, the only place was in a cafe and you had to pay but it didn’t take the euro so we went to the cafe and got some swiss money by buying a carton of orange juice, not a big carton but just 250ml maybe… €4.80… bloody expensive orange juice in switzerland. |We decided to get out of Geneva as quick as possible.

We got to a small part of Lake geneva and tried to work out how to get back into France but in the right direction, we wanted to head towards a place called Bonneville where our friend Tom from Ireland was going to pick us up in his truck and then take us to Chamonix, so we asked for directions and soon realized that no one we spoke to spoke french… but they did speak english so that was a load better than us trying to point towards Bonneville and ask where it was at the same time

We soon got out of Geneva after cycling what seemed to be only uphill for about half an hour, our faces told it all to anyone who looked our way, sweating and red faced, hungover like hell without any sleep… we felt like crap but the sun was shining and the skies were blue and that was the reason why we got on a train in the first place… we were fed up with rain and damp clothes.  It was so hot here in Geneva and we didn’t think about it much, maybe because we were hungover but what ever the reason we got seriously sun burnt, we had T-shirts and sunglasses on and it was great, we made it to Bonneville in no time and gave Tom a call, he said he would be about 40 minutes so we said we would just wait in the square, it was close to mid day and nothing was open so we just waited and ended up laying on the floor in the square, I thought I was in the shade, well I was when i went to sleep but when i woke up the sun was beating down on my body and face, I was burnt like a beetroot, feck it!

Tom arrived and we said our hello’s and introduced him to Sam and then slung the bikes in the back, unfortunately the truck only had three seats in the front so one of us had to get in the back… I volunteered… bugger me it was hot in the back there, I must have lost about a liter of sweat in the back of that truck while we drove to Chamonix and nearly all the croissants I had eaten at the train station that morning too. We arrived at chamonix and as i got out the back I was amazed at how beautiful it all was, okay so we were in a car park behind a block of flats and surounded by french crusties with their giant crustie dogs but the snow covered mountains all around us were amazing. So Tom took us to the place he said we could stay at, a nice apartment on the edge of the center of town with a massive veranda/porch upstairs garden and a view of Mont Blanc that was breath fantastic. we brought all our stuff to the apartment and then met the owner, a lady called Dawn who has been living in Chamonix over the last eight or so years on and off for the season. We went out and saw a bit of the town and went to a sports shop to get Sam a down jacket as he had nothing that good at keeping him warm, also he really wanted something down because both Will and I had down clothing that double up as a pillow when camping.

Tom and his friend Tom who had invited us to stay told us that they had a tradition on the sunday night that they always went to this bar called “Jekyll and Hyde” because on sunday they did a special…. RIB’S NIGHT… as soon as we heard we were signed up for it… unfortunately Sam was so whacked from the night before and not getting any sleep that he just passed out on the sofa and wouldn’t come out… So Will and I went out with Tom and got there just in time before they stopped serving food.. Tom had told us they do half plates at €6 and full plates at €10, he also said that the full plate was more than enough and he only goes for a half plate these days… Will and I were having none of it, there was two flavors and we wanted to try both, Will ordered a large spicy set of ribs and then a small BBQ set of ribs… I just went for two large, one of each flavor.. 

I was so hungry and they tasted so good, my original plan was to get two plates because Sam didn’t come out I could try both sets of ribs and bring him back some (especially as it was only on sundays and we were not going to be here for another sunday ) but after I tired them both there was no chance that Sam was going to get any brought back for him, they tasted so good and the greed took over… so we then ordered hot chocolate fudge cake for after… Jesus that was good…  I know I’m starting to go on a food rant here but we had been cycling for a couple of days and getting food cooked for you and at such quantities was just heaven.

The next day I told Sam my plan that went terribly wrong and he said he would rather me not tell him… but I did anyway and he was jealous so it was worth it.

We decided that we really should go up on the ski lifts and touch some snow so we got the cheapest lift (€15) to the top, all of us wearing shorts and T-shirts because it was so hot down in the town, we got in this little pod that started off slow then shot up and wobbled and shook all over the place, Will being used to doing stupid things wasn’t too bothered about it but Sam and I were plastered to the seats shitting ourselves with looks of terror, the doors didn’t even lock shut and the thing really did swing about a bit, especially when Will got up and started rocking it. 

We got to the top and took some photos with us and the hope banner, had a cup of coffee and then realized that if you don’t have ski’s or a snow board then there is nothing for you to do at the top of a ski slop so we went down again and re-soiled our pants.We started trying to find a way over to Italy via a pass, we had heard of a pass called little St bernard’s pass but got told that funnily enough it was quite steep and because Will’s knee was bad we decided against it so then tried to blag our mate tom into taking us in the truck,

When will went into the pharmacy saying his leg hurt from all the riding he was doing I think they got the wrong idea when they gave him a tube of gel and a tub of blue diamond shaped pills.

see we being on bicycle were not allowed to go through the Mont Blanc tunnel so needed a lift… but Tom was busy with work every day for the next month or so, so we found out about a bus that left from Chamonix and then went to Milan, we didn’t want to go as far as Milan but would get off on the first stop at a place called Courmeyeur just on the Italian side of the alps. So on our last night will cooked Dawn and the lads roadted duck with roast potatoes and veg, the duck was out of a tin (Don’t knock it till you have tried it) and the potatoes were roasted in the duck fat… bloody lovely so it was. Also there was so much fat left over that the other Tom put it into a squeezy bottle for us to take with us, K2K gourmet cooking on the go. The next morning we set off to catch our bus that left at half eight in the morning, 

When we got to the bus station and asked the woman where the bus was she looked at our tickets and then told us that we were not booked on the bus… we shoed her the tickets again and she then phoned up the bus driver to make sure he brought the trailer so we could load the bikes. As it turned out it was fine and we got on the bus and fell asleep right away, 45 mins later we were coming out the other side into Italy, we got off the bus and straight away it was warmer than Chamonix, things were looking good.